11 years ago, a golden puff ball was born. He watched his sisters and brothers taken away by strange people, and sat all alone, lonely and unloved because he had (what the breeders called) a “wonky eye”.
Meanwhile, a girl who had been struggling with severe depression for the better part of her life was checked out of hospital after an attempt on her own life. After some counseling, her therapist made the suggestion that she get a pet as animal therapy could possibly help where drugs were failing.
And so, girl and dog were brought together, and she knew from the very moment that she laid eyes on him that he was her dog and had just been waiting for her to arrive.
He was barely 8 weeks old with big floppy ears and clumsy paws that would take months to grow into. She watched him with love and through him, learnt to laugh again. He grew into a big, hairy furball who couldn’t bear to be separated from his mommy, and she was so attached that even when she went away, she would call home and have her family put him on the phone just so she could hear his woof.
The relationship had it’s ups and downs, of course. She was more than a little upset when he shredded her childhood teddy bear (which was her only memento from her grandmother), and he was always very unimpressed when she wouldn’t give him the last of her peanut butter toast. But these temporary tiffs were always forgotten by the end of the day, when he’d jump onto her bed for a cuddle as they went to sleep.
He taught the girl what unconditional love truly was, and no matter how sad or upset she was, always managed to soothe and console her. Even on the days when she struggled to get out of bed, he somehow always managed to make her laugh and help her tackle each new day.
And so, side by side, they grew up together. He helped her through each heartbreak and eased her loneliness, and she in turn loved him as her own child, spoiling him as rotten as she possibly could.
As he got older, she worried about how she would cope if he left her – the sad fact being that he was always destined to leave her behind. She fretted whenever he took ill, and spent many nights watching him sleep and asking whoever was up there and listening to please let him live longer and go many years from now, peacefully in his sleep.
But I’m afraid that life just isn’t fair that way.
After being in hospital for the past few days due to a bout of pancreatitis, the girl got a call this afternoon from his doctor, telling her that he had collapsed and taken a turn for the worse. The doctor told her that she should come as soon as possible as it was an emergency. The girl’s heart stopped beating and she fell apart at her desk, already terrified of what was to come.
Racing away from her workplace and barely able to drive for the tears in her eyes, she hoped that the doctor was wrong and that she would get there and that he would be okay. Or that she would at least be able to hold him, comfort him, tell him one more time that she loved him. Soothe him and tell him that it would be okay, that his momma had arrived.
But she got there too late. He hadn’t been able to wait for her and slipped away to the other side of the rainbow bridge as she was trying her very best to get to him. She collapsed next to him, clinging to his side and crying into his fur. It’s not fair. He wasn’t meant to go like this. Her darling baby boy was gone and she didn’t even get to say goodbye.
The girl is now sitting at a computer and trying her best to write him a farewell letter to say all the things she didn’t get to say one last time, but every time she thinks the tears have stopped, she falls apart again, clutching at the painful emptiness she feels in her chest. She knows in the back of her mind that the pain will eventually ease but she doesn’t know how that is possible when her fuzzy little munchkin left so suddenly and unexpectedly.
Here is her letter.
To my dear, sweet, darling Mr Woofy,
Thank you for everything. For 11 years, you blessed me with unconditional trust and love. You picked me up when I fell down, you showed me how to laugh when I thought I’d never laugh again, and taught me so much about life. I will forever treasure every day that you were by my side, and take some solace in the fact that your passage was quick and that you weren’t in pain for too long.
I’m sorry, too.
I’m sorry for all the nights that I stayed out or went away and made you worry about where your mommy was.
I’m sorry for all the times that I pushed you away instead of giving you all the cuddles that you wanted.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t stop this from happening to you.
But most of all, I’m so so so sorry that I wasn’t there to hold you one last time before you had to go.
My dearest baby boy. Your momma is hurting a lot right now and she misses you so very much. I hope that wherever you are, there is lots of fresh grass to roll in, ducks to chase and bones to chew. Momma can’t be there right now, but when my time comes, I hope you’ll be waiting for me as you did each day – tail wagging, with a kiss and a cuddle.
I love you forever and ever.
Your mommy.
I’m so sorry Ellie :’(
As I read this, tears welled in my eyes, becuase I know that one day, I’ll know all too well what you’re going through.
I don’t want to ever have to face it, as you didn’t, but it’s a terrible reality.
Thoughts are with you.
x
I’m not really sure what to write as nothing will ease your grief. I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s terrible to live in fear of the ones you love dying and when it does eventually happen it’s unbearable. Don’t feel regret though – Mr Woofy would’ve know for sure that he was loved!
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I’m ever so sorry for your loss… I know how it feels to lose a loved pet.
Hugs,
Rosa
This is truly a touching tribute to a lost loved one and family member. You have my sincerest condolences.
It may not mean much but for what it’s worth, I’ll miss hearing about his antics and your obvious affection for him.
May he rest in peace.
Oh no! Not Mr Woofy, that’s such aweful news. I hope you are okay. We had to put down 3legged Tskui back in July and i was i melt down for months afterwards so know how you probably feel.
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I am so so sorry. My heart breaks for you just reading that. Our beloved four legged family members bring us so much love and joy in our lives, sadly it never is long enough. My sincerest condolences.
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Your post made me cry and I am writing this with tears coming down my cheeks. I am so so sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine how painful this must be. Your Mr Woofy was really lovely and he is one lucky dog to have been loved so much. I have no doubt that he’s had a fantastic life with you.
RIP, Mr. Woofy.
Oh Ellie, my heart aches for you. I loved seeing the photos you would post of Mr.Woofy… dogs are just amazing creatures and just know what you need after a long day at work and when your world is falling apart, they just manage to know and remind you that things are ok. After almost losing my little Joey, I know how much this can hurt. Take care x
Ellie, Mr. Woofy knew you loved him more than anything. You spent 11 years showing him how much.
All the same, my heart just aches for you. My own sweet guy is 13 and very old and sick. I cry so often lately, thinking about what on earth I’m going to do without him, how much I’m going to miss him. The disparity between our lifespans and theirs seems so cruel sometimes. I tell Lloyd that we’re still going to be friends forever, no matter what. You and Mr. Woofy will be too.
Oh Ellie I am so very sorry to read this beautiful post. I have enjoyed when Mr Woofy would make an appearance on the blog or Twitter over the years. I wish I was there to hug you. You and Mr Woofy are in my thoughts.
Oh Ellie. My heart hurts for you. For the past year or so, I’ve also been dreading the fact that my dog is old and would cry at the thought of losing him. Last weekend, I nearly did from heart failure. I know that time is ticking for him and soon, I’ll be in your shoes. The pain is unbearable. The love and joy that dogs give is the most amazing thing.
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Mr Woofy was truly a special dog and drop dead gorgeous. And I’ve no doubt that he knew how much you loved him. All my thoughts and prayers are with you xx
Ellie, i’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I wish i could give you lots of hugs. Reading this blog post brought tears to my tears. Rip Mr Woofy
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Oh my goodness. Nothing I can possibly write is going to make you feel in the slightest better. I read this with tears streaming down my face. For nothing is so unconditional a love as that of a pet. Endlessly forgiving – despite the tiffs as you say. But he obviously adored you as much as you did him – so the gift of friendship ran both ways – and the extra gift he gave you was resilience, which ironically will help you now.
Oh Ellie, I’m so sorry for you. Your Mr Woofy bears a striking similarity to my childhood dog Jasper, so I always looked forward to your tales and pictures of him.
He knew you loved him, as you knew he did. I hope you can take some comfort in that.
Take care.
Ellie, I can’t remember the last time I cried before today. I am in tears because I know how you feel. My darling golden lab is 11 and has to go in for surgery tomorrow on a lump the vet and we are quite sure is C-A-N-C-E-R. I am terrified for him and so worried because I know he picks up on it. It’s not fair that they leave us behind to remember them and cry.
But you adored him and my God that first photo. He knew, trust me. I’m sure of it. He probably chose to leave when he did knowing that watching you watching him slip away would be too much for you both to bare.
You’re words are beautiful and so was he.
I am thinking of you.
xoxo
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Oh my goodness, ellie, this news is heartbreaking and i’m crying sitting here reading this. Sending lots of love you to and good thought to Mr. Woofy in doggie heaven. Big hugs.
Ellie I am so sorry for your lost. You two had such an amazing bond and this so heartbreaking beyond words. I hope you get through this tough time. Stay strong and just know that Mr Woofy will always be looking down on you.
Oh, I am so sorry about Mr Woofy. I know what it’s like to lose a pet who was so vital to one’s own life. You never stop thinking about them, and those memories are absolutely precious for keeping you going into the future. I’m sure he knew that he was loved and will be loved forever.
Ellie..
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.
No words can comfort you when you loose someone who loves you as unconditionally as our fur babies do.
Thinking of you in this sad time.
Xx
Just to say I feel your pain. I lost my baby dog about 15 years ago and she will always be close by in my heart. I am so very sorry for your loss. Reading the Rainbow Bridge got me through a lot of the hard times. Sending you ((((((hugs)))))).
Oh Ellie , I am so saddened by this news. I, too, have enjoyed seeing Mr. Woofy grow up here, in your posts. Hugs to you, as you have a new angel looking after you.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I am sitting here reading this at breakfast with tears in my eyes. It sounds like Mr Woofy and you had a wonderful relationship and for sure he had a wonderful life – because of you. Much love and virtual hugs to you XOXX
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My heartfelt condolences. My two fur-babies have made a lot of my recent icky times bearable, so I think I can understand a bit of the shape of the awful hole in your heart.
I hope that sooner than you expect, the happy memories crowd out your pain. If you do find another furball to love, you will NOT be replacing or dishonoring Mr. Woofy. That new bundle of fuzzy-love will have its own special place in your heart.
I’m so sorry your Mr. Woofy is gone. This was a lovely tribute to him.
I’m so sorry you weren’t able to make it to him, but know that he was given the best care and love by those taking care of him at then end. (I know, I worked in an animal hospital and I loved them as if they were my own. Loving and comforting them all.) Don’t feel sad for Mr. Woofy, he’s not in pain now. Plenty of grass and ducks.
If, 11 years ago, you had succeeded in your attempt on your life, you would’ve missed out on those wonderful years that included Mr. Woofy. Please know that the fresh pain you feel now will end and smiles will replace the tears as you fondly remember Mr. Woofy and the impact he had on your life. I speak from experience.
May you have the unconditional love of another animal in your life again when you are ready.
With much love and hugs,
Cherie M.
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I don’t think I have ever commented here, but I have to right now. I’m sitting at my desk bawling from reading this. It is a wonderfully touching tribute to your best friend, and I am SO sorry for your loss.
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your furbaby
Huge hugs to you momma
i’m so sorry for your loss, ellie. sending you hugs from the other side of the world.
Oh, my heart just aches for you. Sending comforting thoughts your way.
I was just taking a moment between work assignments to scan today’s posts and saw this. I’m soooooo sorry for your loss! When I was little, I had two pets put down while I was away, and it was devastating to me, but not nearly so much as my more recent loss. I had only known her for a few years, but she had grown up with my nephews and was the most amazing dog I have ever known. We still talk about her on an almost daily basis. I had gone out of state for the holidays a few years back and made it home just in time to be with her at the end. I literally had a half hour with her before she was gone, and I was so thankful for that time. I think that’s what tears my heart out the most about this story, not that Mr. Woofy is gone, because that’s a good thing for him if he had been suffering, but that you missed those last precious moments.
Oh, and through my tears reading this, I cracked up laughing when I got to the pic of the body-less dog. The guy in the next office must be wondering what’s wrong with me over here.
OK, I have a really lame confession to make… shortly before we lost our “Fuzzy,” I had started playing around on Facebook, and some of my foodie friends got me to set up a pet in Pet Society. I naturally created a virtual version of her. Now that she has passed, I can’t bring myself to nuke the stupid game version! I have to keep feeding her, etc. so she won’t run away! LOL My real “Fuzzy” is also still the wallpaper on both of my computers, so I can see her every day and say good-night when I log off. My thoughts are definitely with you. Sending lots of virtual hugs your way! {{{{ELLIE}}}}
So sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I too lost my baby boy a week ago so I know exactly how you feel right now. Bo was 12 years old and unexpectedly came down with pneumonia which he just couldn’t beat. I never would have imagined that he would not be with us this summer. I feel lost and I expect to see him every time I turn around. Mr Woofy knew how much you loved him just as my Bo did. We’ll both get through this I’m sure. And with many fond memories to comfort us. Take care.
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I’m so, so sorry to read this. I’ve read it twice today and both times I have been in floods of tears. I have an almost identical story to you, although I am so lucky that my little cat didn’t pass on and he recovered just in the nick of time. I know how lucky I am, and I only wish that this could have happened for you too.
It sounds like Mr Woofy had an awesome life thanks to you, and I guarantee he loved you just as much as you love him. He will be waiting for you, there’s no doubt in my mind! This post is a wonderful tribute to him.
Big hugs to you. xxx
Ellie, I am so so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Anyone who has had a friend and lost them knows how you must be feeling. Keep remembering the good times you spent together and look after yourself so you can get through this time.
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Hello,
I am soooo sorry!!!! I have never seen something so touching ever…. your best friend is watching over you each and every day,
you WILL see him again….
Oh you poor thing Ellie! I know just how you feel, and there’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. I’m so sorry for your loss sweetie.
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Ellie, I have not had the fortune to have read any stories about Mr Woofy. Your beautiful words and letter to him have me in floods of tears. I hope that you have lots of friends around you so that you are not alone for a while. I will think about you and Mr Woofy for a long time after reading this sad story
I am so sorry. My mom has/had goldens…one passed away a year ago. Pets are such a wonderful treasure and we certainly miss them when they’ve gone. Take care of yourself.
Aww Ellie, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’ve been really concerned about my dog this year as she’s 11 going on 12. I’m so touched by your post. Big hugs! xx
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Oh my god, that was so moving it, I shed a tear for the pain you must be suffering and I don’t even know you other than from what you write in your blogs.
Celebrate the life that he had, not what could be. It was obviously his time to go.
I am sorry for your loss.
-Elinor
Oh Ellie, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You and Mr Woofy will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.
RIP Mr Woofy.
I’m very sorry for your loss, Ellie. xo
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I thought your post was very sweet and touching. Loosing a pet is just like loosing a friend because, for many, their always there and somehow understand us and all of our emotions. I’m sorry for your loss, take care.
Oh Ellie, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Sending hugs xx
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This is such a beautiful tribute. I’m so sorry for your loss…Reading this made me tear up.
I’m going through my second fur baby right now, and the thought that I would lose him would tear me up inside.
My thoughts are with you and yours.
A touching and moving tribute. He was loved and adored and he knew that even if you were not there in his last moments. Thank you for sharing with us.
Twitter: DantesSpirit
says:
Four years ago this coming June, I too got that phone call from my vet that made my heart stop. Unlike you, I was able to say good bye.
He knew he was loved and he likely tried to hold on for you, but as they say, the spirit may be willing, but sometimes the body isn’t. Either way, he knew you loved him dearly.
As long as we remember them, as long as we hold their memory close, they will never leave us.
If there is one truly bad thing about having pets, it’s that they never live long enough Even my 14.5 years with my Dante was nowhere near long enough.
Hugs.
I’m so sorry. I’m still crying for your dear loss. I came across this site for a recipe. Then I saw the wonderful picture of Mr. Woofy. I had to click on it because I do too have a golden retriever. She just turned 10 Christmas eve. I did get a 8-week old puppy because of my depression problem. We did grow together. And I definitely feel all the pain you’ve gone through. And I’m afraid for it every second. How do you cope? You can’t. You just have to tell yourself that they’re in a better place right now, waiting for us.
I do thank you for sharing your story with us. Mr. Woofy is sorely missed all over the world. Please continue to stay strong for him.
There are really no words. Im so sorry for your loss Ellie x
So, so sorry. This story hit me pretty hard. I have just come back from the vet with my sick cat today. I couldn’t even go inside beyond the front desk, I was so scared to get bad news. She’s only been with me for just over 2 years, but she has been by my side, helping me through the unexpected suicide of my brother and best friend. Constantly showing me love, and gently easing me out of the severe depression that followed also.
Luckily, my news was good, and I have brought her home. But you need to remember that bonds like yours and Mr Woofy’s are eternal. Spirit, and energy are forever. His heart and energy and spirit will still be with you, and I truly believe that you two WILL be reunited one day.
Take care xx
I’m so sorry. I lost my Jack Russell of 16 years two years ago. She headed out for her last peepee of the night and didn’t come back. 5 days later we found her passed away by a river not too far from my home. It was the hardest 5 days of my life but getting to hold her one last time was a blessing. However, I wish I had been with her. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.