What’s the matter with you? Eat some sugar!
I’m baaaaaaaaaaack! Yes! After my 2-week hiatus from the food blogging arena, I return refreshed and with a new vigor for churning out delights in my kitchen 
Did you miss me?
I have to admit that it was really difficult to get back into the blogging world…I slowly weaned myself back by reading the occasional post and browsing photos, but when I sat down to write, I found that my mind went blank. It was almost as if my final essays and exams had liquefied my long-suffering brain and it had finished leaking out of my ears.
*brushes liquid brain-bits from shoulders*
Anyway, during my time off I’ve been watching COPIOUS amounts of movies, in fact, the title of this post is from one of my all-time favourite cult classics, ten points to whoever correctly picks the movie
Need a hint?
Withnail: [having just drunk a bottle of lighter fluid] Got any more?
Marwood: No. I have nothing!
Withnail: Liar! What’s in your toolbox?!
Marwood: Nothing!
Withnail: Liar! You’ve got anti-freeze!
Marwood: You bloody fool! You should never mix your drinks!
Being the huge fan of Richard E. Grant that I am (and on the off chance that Mr. Grant should read this - Richard, you are more than welcome to stop by and sneer all over my front doorstep whenever you like), this movie is an absolute winner for me. I think I may have overdone it though, as after not seeing it for a few years, I’ve seen it so many times in the past fortnight that I’ve once again started quoting lines along with the movie!
Perhaps I should move onto The Labyrinth? After all, David Bowie in tights never really gets old…
Anyway, after watching the movie yet again today, good old Withnail solved my lack of motivation to get back into the kitchen with the line “Look at my tongue; it’s wearing a yellow sock! Sit down, for Christ’s sake, what’s the matter with you? Eat some sugar“. Okay, so not the tongue-sock bit, the second half of that statement is closer to the mark. Indeed - this IS primarily a dessert focused blog, why not come back with something stupidly unhealthy and loaded with sugar? And what food would do this better than the almightly, calorie-laden doughnut?
Yet another of those mysterious recipes, I’d had this recipe for yeast-risen doughnuts in my little notebook for no idea how long. I had bugger all idea of where it was from, I used to carry this particular notebook with me everywhere and I’d use it to copy recipes from other people’s notebooks and even magazines at the doctor’s office. I’d been eyeing the recipe for awhile, ever since I tried those beautiful churros, so I figured now was as good a time as any to give these a go!
Yeouch.
Good is a bit of an understatement, the outside is crunchy and once you break through, the light, chewy interior is delightfully different. The doughnuts themselves are hardly sweet, and as I could not be bothered making up a glaze for these (I have 4 large trays of doughnuts and doughnut holes in the kitchen, they took a wee while to deep-fry), I just tossed them in some caster sugar once the oil had drained away.
They’re not easy - the dough is possibly the softest dough I have EVER had to work with, and in their unfried state they are extremely delicate. However, they are insanely delicious and you will need to ensure that you have others around to take them off your hands as it is nigh impossible to just stop at one.
Set aside a morning to make these and give ‘em a whirl, I promise you won’t regret it
Yeasted Doughnuts
(makes a LOT! I got about 40 rings from this, and even more doughnut holes!)
Ingredients
7.5g instant dried yeast
1/4 cup (60mL) warm water
1 1/2 cups (355mL) warm milk (scalded then cooled down)
1/2 cup (110g) caster sugar
1 tsp salt
2 large eggs
75g melted butter
5 cups (550g) all-purpose flour, sifted
Oil, for frying
Caster sugar, to toss fried doughnuts in
1. Dissolve the yeast in the water in a very large bowl (it must be big enough to fit your head, and then some), then add the sugar, salt, milk, butter and eggs and beat together. Add 2 cups of flour and beat till well combined and does not have any lumps.
2. Add the remaining flour and mix it in till the mixture is smooth, then cover with a damp cloth and leave to rise in a warm area for about 1 hr or till it has doubled in size. Don’t worry if the mixture is too sticky at this stage, it’s meant to be an extremely soft and pliable dough.
3. Once the dough has proofed, remove the cloth and liberally sprinkle the top with flour, making sure to cover any sticky bits. Flour your benchtop then tip the bowl upside-down and empty the dough on top, scraping it out of the bowl as it is a bit stringy. Cover the newly exposed surface with flour, then roll out about 1.5cm thick.
4. Cut into doughnut shapes (one large circle then a smaller one in the middle) and place the doughnuts and holes onto floured trays to proof - do not cover them, you do want the surface to dry out and lose its stickiness. Leave them to proof in a warm place for about 30-45 minutes.
5. Heat vegetable oil in a fryer to 180 degrees C, then start frying the doughnut holes, flipping them after 1 minute or once the cooking side has gone golden brown (but not brown - golden brown makes for crisp exteriors and pillowy soft interiors, brown makes for crunchy exteriors and dry, chewy interiors). Then fry the doughnut rings.
6. Drain the fried doughnuts on paper towels and leave them to cool, then fill a plastic bag with caster sugar and toss the doughnuts in it, a few at a time. Leave your guilt at the door, make yourself a cup of tea, put your feet up and take a bite, reveling in the euphoric rush of calories all racing towards your thighs 
P.S. When cutting out the shapes, try and get as many as possible in the first hit. The dough can only be lightly kneaded and rerolled once with not much detriment to the texture of the doughnuts, and any dough left over after this second rolling should be discarded!
Technorati Tags: yeast, sweets, donuts, doughnuts, cakes, deep fried, food, recipes, unhealthy
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Comments
Nice to see you back! I do know what you mean. When school ended this year on June 1, for several days I just felt like a limp dishrag, no ideas, no energy, and when I sat down at the computer I just couldn’t think of a thing to write. All that mental energy drains you.
Ellie- You have hit upon my favorite movie of all time! And I adore Richard E. Grant. Bowie in tights is pretty appealing too! Good to see you back.
Anh - Thanks hon And yup, no more study for another month at which point it all begins again 
You’re right, doughnuts are perfect in this weather!
Kalyn - Thanks sweetie I’m still struggling a bit to try and form intelligible sentences from the innards of my brain but I’m slowly getting there 
Hope you’re enjoying your break from schooling life
Callipygia - Hurrah! Another Richard E. Grant fan There are not enough of us in this world, we need to stick together to celebrate his wonderfulness!
Kat - Thanks hon
Ed - I want the finest wines available to humanity. And I want them here, and I want them now!
Just hopped over from Steamy Kitchen, and so happy that you made donuts. Can’t wait to try this recipe next.
So great to see you posting again. I am determined to give this a go even though my waistline says no. It will be hard not to scoff the whole lot!
Yes we missed you Ellie! it’s great to see you back. I love this post, I think it’s one of your funniest ever and it had me snorting loudly enough for Hubby to ask what the matter was! I particularly loved that the bowl needed to be ” big enough for your head”.
will somebody please explain to me the appeal of withnail and i? i was so annoyed after the first five minutes that i ripped the dvd out of the player right around the scene that you posted a still of above. did it get any better?
welcome back to blogging, and oh my, don’t they look delicious!
and i just saw labyrinth, complete with the be-tighted david bowie . . . it was an experience.
Hi Ellie,
You better invite the local police force over to help you eat all those great looking donuts! Hope you’re enjoying your break from school.
Ellie, the new look is fantastic. I usually read your blog in Bloglines, so I’m not sure when you changed it.)
V - Thanks for dropping by I hope you do give this a try, but I highly recommend having others nearby when you do as it’s dangerous having this many fresh doughnuts in your proximity
Truffle - Definitely hard, but thankfully I managed to give most of them away! I’d hate to think of how much my thighs would curse if I didn’t
Ed - Oooooo! Now that sounds promising
Patricia - Thanks hon
Mandi - Hehehe, thanks hon Glad you enjoyed the post!
MP - I’m afraid I can’t explain it, I think it just depends on your sense of humour I’ve always enjoyed snappy banter and random comments so Withnail appeals greatly to me, and yet I found it well-written enough that I almost cried at the end when Marwood leaves Withnail behind!
Cheryl - Homer knows what’s good
Deborah - It’s something that’s been on my to-do list for ages as well, so I was quite pleased! I definitely think you should give it a shot!
Ivonne - Hehehe Want a hankie?
Neil - They did indeedy Cheers!
Susan - Awww shucks hon, I’m glad to be back What puts you off doughnuts? Is it the frying?
Emily - Hehehe, thanks hon Mmmm, david bowie in tights - just as scrumptious as doughnuts, hehehe!
Tanna - Thanks sunshine
I-Ling - Homer is a wise man
Bruno - Hehehe, that might be the best idea next time And the break from school has been marvellous so far!
Kalyn - Thanks hon I just changed it yesterday, unfortunately my old theme was incompatible with the new Wordpress version so I needed to update it! I’m kinda glad though, I think the new look is a lot sleeker!
I know that at least half my butt is made up of doughnuts.Hi sweetie - you’ve been missed tremendously, glad you are back!
I have not seen that movie, but I’m curious now. My favorite movie starring Richard E. Grant is Warlock. hehee
Doughnuts look fab - crispedy and chewy the perfect combination for a fried doughnut! Well done!
xoxo
I did miss you Ellie! Welcome back! *hughug* . Hope your exam is over now.
And I love the donuts. Perfect for the damn cold weather we have now. Yeah. Eat more sugar now until we all get ‘bloddy overdose’