Life ain’t fair, suck it up bitch!
JUST when I’d gotten to a point where I had given up hope, had come to terms with it and put him out of my fuckin’ mind, he then calls. Which, admittedly, sent my heart racing just a little, false hope! He called just to confirm his disinterest, putting himself in my fuckin’ head again.
It’s actually funny, if you think about it. The whole thing - how does someone go from being so keen to so disinterested so quickly? Of course, the die-hard optimist in me is still inside, hoping madly for a call in the middle of the night, to say he was wrong, that he does want to keep seeing me to see if something could grow between us… *sigh* and just when I thought I’d stomped that motherfucker out like a light, looks like I’ll have to do it all over again.
Meanwhile - the FUNNIEST part to this whole story is that I’m late. YES, I’m on the fuckin’ pill but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m late. How fuckin’ hilarious would that be? “Hey, I know you said you don’t want to see me again, but since it’s partly your fault, how about going halves to pay for the fuckin’ abortion?” Of course, that’s a worst-case scenario, more than anything it’s probably just my seriously fucked up ovaries going “Hey there, just in case you don’t have enough on your plate, how’s this to keep your mind occupied?”
Thank god I’m so tired, otherwise I know the disappointment would keep me up, and he doesn’t deserve any more of my energy, thoughts or time.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
stickyfingers I hear you. Been there. My ex kept hanging in there for three years with those late night ‘I’m sorry calls’. I only have myself to blame for being optimistic, but it was never meant to be. In hindsight I probably should have learnt my lesson sooner and used that knowledge to move on.
When he finally said to me that ‘it was probably time we were engaged, but I can’t do it because although I love everything about you, I’m not in love with you.’ It gave me the impetus to change.
It burnt a hole in me, but made me take a long hard look at why I had been putting up with his bad behaviour. Once I dealt with my own baggage, I knew I was dating the wrong guys and within a year had found my future husband.
In the Buddhist way of thinking, Life is Pain. Thank God we have desserts to cheer us up!
BTW I was on the pill for a long time. Late happens. If you were on antibiotics when you were ovulating you may be pregnant, but otherwise it’s probably an anomaly. I’m sure you’ll be ok. 
Hang in there girl! Forget about him and stop worrying about the other thing since the more you worry the more it will be late.