How to get my attention
There seems to be some sort of general misunderstanding about how to get my attention, and I’d say that this is much the same for many females out there. Lads, let me break it down for you:
Bad ways to get my attention
- If I’m having a gas and dancing like a retard on the dancefloor with my mates, coming up behind me and surprising me by grinding your crotch into my arse is not going to make you a winner. I don’t care how drunk you are.
- Yelling obscenities and honking like a buffoon when myself and my rather ample chest are walking down the street or crossing the road in front of you. Yes, I’m rather gifted in that area, but that doesn’t give you permission to act like a wanker.
- Pulling your cock out and waggling it about in front of me. Save your attempts to become a flasher for somebody else.
- Throwing chocolate/ice cubes/other food items down my cleavage. Yes, it may melt, but your lewd offers to ‘clean it up’ will probably be met with a heel through the foot before I grumble and stalk off to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
- Pinching or slapping me on the arse. From friends, it’s fine. Complete strangers, decidedly not.
From that brief list, you should get the general gist. Onto some of the the better approaches:
Good ways to get my attention
- Coming up to me and spinning a ridiculously corny joke or cheesy (not sleazy) pick-up line that will make me laugh. It’s an automatic win!
- Dancing in front of me, preferably just as badly as I am, and giving me a grin. Once again, automatic success points!
- Sending me an anonymous note through a member of the bar staff or stranger. It’s a little different, but will definitely get my attention, driving me just a bit batty as I try and figure out who you are. Plus, when you reveal yourself, there’ll be a bit of a laugh if you’ve pulled it off successfully 
- Just engaging in everyday conversation with me. It’s run of the mill but it works. One of the best attempts I’ve ever had was a man who spun me a fantastic lie about a statue I was admiring and was stringing me along for a few minutes before confessing that he knew as little as I did. We went to grab a coffee straight afterwards 
- Making me laugh. I’m easily amused, and love being amused so anything you can think of that might get me to giggle is probably a good idea!
And there you have it! See, not so hard after all, is it?
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
