An open letter from my mind to my body

Dear body,

Fuck you.

No, seriously. Fuck you.

Come on, play fair. Sure, so I smoke…but I limit my cigs to between 1-5 a day tops and sometimes make it through days without having a single one. I don’t eat junk food or fast food, and I enjoy all my fruit and veg as well as taking multivitamins. I rarely drink, and limit daily consumption of fluids to water and a glass of fresh carrot and apple juice, with the occasional chai or green tea. Okay okay, so I admit, I’ve gotten a bit slack with gym attendance over the past few months, but I still walk and do the occasional spot of pilates at home.

So why do you persist in tormenting me so? WHY?! What could I possibly have done to piss you off? Is this some sort of game? Are you TRYING to prove something about the whole mind vs. matter argument?

Do you think this is FUNNY?

Fine, you win. I give up and admit to your superiority in all matters pertaining to my existance.

Now, could I please have my FUCKING health back?

Warmest regards,
Ellie’s Mind¹

1 - Yes, I have lost the plot. Apparently, my illness over the past two and a half weeks is to be attributed to some sort of internal virus and I have been ordered by the doc to go have tests done for my liver/kidney/pancreas tomorrow. Also, despite my feeling like I’m overheating and dehydrated and constantly drinking water for the past fortnight, I never connected that with the notion that I might be running a fucking fever. Seriously, how much of an idiot do you have to be to not make that connection? Well, obviously as much of an idiot as I am. Doc also gave me the most withering look when she questioned me about how long it had been since I’d seen a gyno, and I admitted a few years. Doc agreed that having a third menstrual cycle within a month and a half doesn’t bode well for the ovaries, so I must also go for an ultrasound tomorrow. If I didn’t feel so utterly miserable, I’d really just have to laugh at my own rotten luck.

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